Home > Uncategorized > This is not forever.

This is not forever.

Making decisions used to be so easy when I was in college. There was very little thought process, at least not much past the “I wonder what Mom would say,” thing.

Now that I’m working, now that I’m paying my own bills and my own rent (which, I actually really like), making decisions SUCKS. I’m officially the most indecisive girl in the world.

I don’t know where to go from here. I just don’t. I know that at some point I’ve got to make a definite decision. I’ve gone back and forth for the last six months. I want one thing and then I want another. I like having choices; it makes me appreciate living in a society where I can make my own decisions, but what the hell, man?

I’m scared that the things I want to do are me running away from a crappy situation.

But deep down, I don’t think that’s it. I don’t think anyone has to be this miserable in life, especially at the age of 22. I could still technically be in college. And I think if I have the means to change my situation I should be able to…right?

I just don’t think that having a nervous breakdown every two weeks, complaining to my best friends about work every single time I see them and calling my mom every  two days in tears from the bathroom of work is the best way to be living life.

Yes, at some point I need to grow up and just accept my situation and see it through to the end, but come one. I’m not fricking staying here forever.

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