Home > Uncategorized > Waxing poetic about the subway…hm.

Waxing poetic about the subway…hm.

My last few posts have been scarce and rushed and melancholy.

I hate that because I don’t like to think that I am using this blog simply as a place to moan about my sad feelings.

This blog is more than that to me, I assure you all. It’s a place to write. Obviously. What I mean is, it’s a place where I just write about anything and nothing and everything in between. Writing novels or poetry isn’t for me, at least not right now. (As much as I wish I had the talent to write a novel.) I just like to give commentary on my mediocre life, and try to make it sparkle a bit more.

Today I managed to move past my lonely feelings for the time being.

I have been homesick like crazy lately. I think it’s the fact that Boston is SO different from Texas and that I’ve never been away from home for this long before. It’s starting to all get to me, and although I love living here more than anything, I am extremely ready for my  trip home in May.

I can’t wait to see my best friends and my family. I’m ready to visit my old haunts, and, if someone lets me borrow a car, drive around for a bit. I want to sit in the hot, dry, West Texas sun and feel the wind blow past my face. A dust storm would be lovely. I’m looking forward to that familiar drive between Midland and Lubbock and watching how the land spreads away from the highway in a most lovely fashion. It’s going to be a great trip.

And although I sound like I miss everything about home and like I’m drowning in nostalgia, really, I am not. I know Boston is where I should be right now.

I know this because simple little things make me positive I’m doing the right thing. Ijust have to keep looking for reminders when I forget for a little while.

Take yesterday, for instance. It was my day off and after spending the morning at Barnes an Noble reading I decided  I needed to be outside and around people. I decided that hopping on the train to Cambridge was exactly what I needed. There’s always something interesting happening in Harvard Square.

So here’s where it happened. As I waited for the red line train to Alewife to arrive I looked out across the tracks and saw the same guy who always is there playing his guitar and singing a soulful song. It was so cliche to see a musician in the subway that I couldn’t help but smile. Then the train arrived.

Keep in mind I have never had to use public transportation before I moved here. It’s still a novelty.

The train rushed passed me, causing everything on the other side of it to blur. The noise of it drowned out the musician. The rush of air pulled at my hair, whipping it into my eyes. I closed my eyes for a moment and took it all in: the noise, the wind, the feeling of having somewhere to be and the ability to get there quickly. It’s small moments like that that jolt me into remembering how much of a city I am: the fact that I wax poetic about catching a train proves this.

I don’t know why I’ve been so lonely lately.  I don’t know why I find it so hard some days and other days it’s nothing to me.

But I do know that deep down I love this city. And I know that for now I love my flower shop job and my writing job. The people I come in contact with each day make this worth it.

And that will be my mantra each time I start to feel lonely or homesick.

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Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,
  1. April 16, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I think you are absolutley capable of writing a book. Your writing flows nicely. Write a book about a small town girl moving to a big city and add a twist!

    😉

    Sadie at heyMamas

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