Home > Uncategorized > Way back Texas.

Way back Texas.

Today I took back my Monday morning and, in a way, my apartment.

You all know that when I moved to Boston I moved into an apartment in which one girl moved out and I took over her lease until September. So it’s taken me a while to feel completely comfortable here, mostly because I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes since I am the “new girl.” But I finally decided it’s time to nudge my way in and claim a bigger spot than I’ve been taking up. So I bought myself coffee and creamer and decided to start my usual ritual of drinking coffee in the morning. Every morning. For such a small act it certainly feels good. Getting ready for the day just wasn’t the same unless I had a warm, rich cup of coffee in my hand. Maybe now I can cut back on spending all that money on coffee drinks during the day.

So there’s my little rant on coffee.

Lately I’ve been thinking about this blog a lot and what I could do with it. It’s always been a place for me to sort through my thoughts and figure out if what I’m feeling is rational or not. (More often than not I find that I’m being ridiculous.) It’s a good outlet for me to vent and think and talk and say the things I’m never brave enough to say in real life.

But since I moved it’s become more than that. It’s become something that I feel the need to do almost every day. I’m beginning to love writing in a way that I never have before. When I go wandering around each day I take note of things that I wouldn’t normally notice in the hopes that I can find something interesting to blog about later. And the streets of Boston inspire me. All the new things to look at and experience fill me up inside, and I walk down the streets composing my next post in my head. It’s new for me to be this inspired with writing, and I absolutely love it. For right now I no longer have that weird loss for words that I used to experience. Before now, whenever I tried to write, I would stare at a blank page or screen and just sit there. I’d wonder what to put down on that page and if my words even mattered to anyone. But now, I just let it flow. It’s like I’ve let one part of my mind go, and I just write and feel and I don’t think so much about it.

I think part of it is that I’m in a new place. There’s new things to write about, of course. But more than that, I’ve been searching out new blogs to read and am trying to explore ordinary people’s writing styles. And it’s interesting to me that there are so many out there. They talk about anything and everything under the sun. It’s made me realize that it doesn’t always matter if what I have to say is interesting or not; what matter’s is that it’s important to me. It’s important (I hope) to the people who love me and are interested in what I have to say.

My new project is to work on this blog. I’m trying to write each day and make each post count. My desire is to be funny, entertaining and insightful–something people enjoy reading. And yet, I want it to be less about making it good for other people and more about making it something that I am proud of. It’s a very complicated desire.

I got a note from my aunt and uncle last week, and they suggested that I spend at least one hour a day writing. It’s a great idea, and I think I’m going to go for it. I know one girl who’s doing a blog for her photography, and she’s working on a project called “365 days of photography,” where she posts one picture a day. Maybe I should take up some variation of that. 365 days of Katie’s thoughts. I like it.

This post took an interesting direction today. I wasn’t exactly going to write about this. I was actually going to write about this.

Yesterday I found this site. I was watching some random TV show online and this was one of those 30-second commericials. I went to the Web site and it’s so cool! You should look at it.

It made me think about what I posted yesterday, about people being kind to those who are less fortunate. To what extent are we responsible for helping people? To what extent are we responsible for helping anyone? This site made me want to try something. I want to try going out of my way to do one nice thing for someone a week. Just one. That’s not too much, is it? I feel like I need to work on being compassionate to others. I need to work on stepping up and doing the right thing when it’s called for.

I know, I know. I’ll be careful. I won’t do anything that will put me in any sort of danger up here in “big, bad Boston.” I’m talking about simple things: running to open the door for the couple trying to manuever their kid’s stroller through the busy streets, giving up my seat to someone on the T, stuff like that. Little things that seem like they don’t matter, but really? They do matter. And every time I’ve done something like that I can’t help but always feel better about everything. So it shouldn’t be too hard to work on this. I’m going to make it a point to start on this. I want to be a better person.

I just got off the phone with my dad a few minutes ago. I’ve been planning my trip home for my best friend’s wedding in May. 😀 I’m so excited to go back  to Texas for a few days. My friend asked me the other day if I thought that going back home would make me want to move back there. After considering it for a moment, I decided that no, I’m doing good here. And truly, I am. As hard as it is, as expensive as it is, and as lonely as it can be at times, I have to keep in mind that I’m still settling in to this new place. And making it in the city is still my “true love,” if you will. What I mean is that right now nothing else is as important to me as succeeding here–whether it’s Boston or New York or any other city up here. I want to succeed on my own terms and my own time. This time right now is for me to be selfish and go after what I want. So slowly but surely I will do that. Regardless of the things I’m missing out on (weddings, weekends home with the family, time with my best friends), this is my priority right now.

But anyway. I think going home in May is exactly what I need. I can’t wait to see the family and my best friends. I can’t wait to sleep in my teeny twin bed in my old room. I’m excited to get on that plane and see the flat expanse of west Texas from the air. I’ll probably cry when I see it, like I did when that plane took off when I moved to Boston. Leaving Texas made me love it. Maybe I’m just idealizing it my head since I’m away from it, but my goodness. I miss sunsets and stars, and cowboys, and country music and the wind. I miss the flat wide open plains and the sheer nothingness that surrounds Midland and Lubbock.

Just 2 months and 5 days until I’m home again. Not that I’m counting or anything.

But trust me guys, I’m enjoying my time here. More than I could have imagined.

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