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Meh.

Last semester, when I was getting ready to graduate and move, I listened to one playlist of music over and over and over. I loved these songs because the lyrics really spoke to my heart and encouraged me on days where the last thing I wanted to was haul over to school. I listened to them in the mornings when I was gettin ready for classes, when I got home from work and school and when I was gettng ready for sleep. These songs made me hope that things would change eventually, and gave me faith in myself and my dreams. They made me want to strive for more and go different places. And now, here  I am in Boston.

I listened to these songs over and over this weekend on repeat, simply to remind myself of a few things.

I wanted to feel my drive again. I wanted to hear the words that had inspired me in the past because I need them to inspire me in my present, when I often feel a little lost. So here’s just a little sample of this musical goodness. (Really, though? My music choices are lame. So forgive me.)

1. “Defying Gravity” from Wicked. Oh, yes. I Love This Song. Whenever I had my car I would put in this CD, switch it to this song, and absolutely BLAST this song over and over. It’s amazing. It’s one of the few songs I will sing to. The lines that are my favorite are, “I’m through accepting limits / Cuz someone says they’re so / Some things I cannot change / But til I try I’ll never know.”

2. “Break Me Out” by The Rescues. I found this song on a random episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I can’t remember which, but the song caught my attention. Great song.

3. “Runaway” by Love and Theft. This is a perfect, amazing song. I listened to it on repeat so many times I think my iTunes lost count.

4. “Heartbreak World” by Matt Nathanson. This song got to me with just the first couple of lines. It says “Let’s all pack up and move this year / We’ll slip the lines and disappear.” And then later, “In this heartbreak world of just imagine / with its tired talk of better days / in this heartbreak world where nothing matters / C’mon let’s make this dream / that’s barely half awake come true.” Oh. Shivers. I love it because these lines really emphasize how it’s important to chase your dreams. What else is there to live for?

5. “Gone” also by Matt Nathanson. Basically it just says “Gone, let it wash away the best I had / Gone, and when I disappear / Don’t expect me back.” I know this song isn’t about what I use it for, but really, that’s the beauty of words. They can be twisted to mean anything.

6. “We weren’t born to follow” by Bon Jovi. Obvious.

7. “Boston” by Augustana. Um, duh. Hello. If I had a show like The Hills, this is song that would be played in the introduction. I know it’s lame. I know it’s a silly song. The day I drove back to Lubbock from Midland, after talking to my parents about my plans to move and making a concrete decision to do so, I listened to the song on repeat the ENTIRE way. No joke. You don’t understand what hearing that song did for me.

So that was part of my little playlist. I know that these songs make me seem completely idealistic, but really, they were such good reminders for me.

And now that I’m in Boston, and things have happened, I have to listen to them to remind myself of my dreams.

“I think I’ll go to Boston. I think that I’m just tired. I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.”

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