Home > Uncategorized > Pain, one-way plane tickets and peace.

Pain, one-way plane tickets and peace.

I discovered the other day that my sister and I have a huge difference in the ways that we handle potentially painful situations.

When faced with something that may cause intense heartache she would choose to cut and run. To get out before it hurts too much. I, on the other hand, choose to stick it out, see it through the end–and cause myself even more pain. Rip up my insides a little more, if you will.

I’m not saying either one of us is wrong in the way we handle these situations. Although I think she may miss out on some truly amazing experiences from time to time, I think mine is the more unhealthy choice. I’m a masochist, I suppose. I enjoy pain. I see pain as something that means something good happened, and now, unfortunately, it’s over.

I don’t know why, but the thought of healing is enjoyable to me. Pleasant, even. Maybe I hope that after I get through the pain, the hurt, I’ll come out on the other end stronger. A better person. A more caring person.

Whatever. I think I just enjoy feeling sad sometimes. And that’s something I need to get over–quickly.

On a happier note, I finally, FINALLY bought my plane ticket to Boston. That beautiful one-way ticket for and my kitteh. I leave Sunday Jan. 10 at 8:10 a.m. Be praying for me between now and then, please. I’m terrified. I know, deep down, everything is right and will be OK, but I’m still nervous. But in my heart…there’s only peace. Which is why a dove means so much to me.

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” –Unknown

This is what I strive for. This is what I aspire to.

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