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Peace.Courage.Faith.Hope…Possibility.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I entered this holiday with a renewed sense of contentment. The second I arrived back in Midland it was as though every worry I had on the drive home flew out the window. (I always roll down my window once I spot the town on the horizon. Don’t ask me why; I just do.) I didn’t think about the three major projects I have due (Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday), or the paper I have due Wednesday or the two stories I have to write for the yearbook. Or the fact I graduate three weeks from this Saturday. Or that I still need to find a little thing called a job in that big city of Boston. Nothing was in my head except for the anticipation of seeing my family.

Yes, I go home often. Normally I go there to escape from Lubbock, because sometimes I just can’t stomach the thought of having to stay in that town during the weekends. I see my family quite often (except for my sister), but everything is different during the holidays. Everything seems more simple; all that matters is that they are my family, the ones who love me, support me, and care about me–and the only place I wanted to be was right here.

Yesterday I felt wrapped up in the arms of my cozy home. Since I got here I have not left the house once. I gave myself the chance to slow down, to breathe a little. And it gave me the chance to remember what I will be leaving behind in January.

I’m so grateful to have such an amazing set of parents. For the most part, their relationship is the one I hold up to as an example of what I hope to someday have. They balance each other perfectly, and I love that about them.

I’m thankful for my little sister. I love her carefree attitude toward life; her tendency to act (in a good way) like a little kid. She hasn’t lost that vibrancy, that innocence, that being an adult usually takes away. I admire that, and sometimes I am jealous.

I am thankful for my Grandmommy and Grandaddy. They are my mom’s parents, and they are one of the best sets of grandparents someone could ever hope for. Yes, my grandmother talks for hours on end, but every little thing she does is out of love. My grandfather is the strong, silent type, but I like to imagine him in his prime. I believe he used to be a force to be reckoned with, and I am glad to still have him with me.

I’m thankful for my precious Papa. I did not get to see him today (because he’s in New York; go him!), and I missed him. He is everything to me. I admire him because he stood by my grandmother for the 11 years Alzheimer’s ravaged her mind. He is steadfast and strong, kind and caring, honest and true. Today was my first taste of a holiday without him, and I didn’t like it. I would be lost without my Papa. And my sweet Mimi–I missed her today. Painfully. I know in my heart if she were still here the whole family would be hurting, but I wish I could have her here as I know she is now: restored, healthy and whole. Beautiful and elegant, as she used to be.

I’m thankful for peace, courage and faith. For hope. For possibilities–the endless kind. I’m thankful I had the courage to stand up for what I want for myself and my life. Is it bad if this is what I am most thankful for this year? It seems so self-centered; but I’ll be honest: it’s true. If I had not had the courage to talk to my parents and the courage to just do it and take off for Boston, I would be so unhappy right now. Knowing I’m leaving makes me more aware of what I’m leaving behind. This, in turn, makes it harder to leave. But that will make coming back home so much better. So much sweeter.

Right now everything that has been bothering me seems so small. And I know tomorrow or Saturday I will probably wake up and be sad again or be stressed, but at least for this day I was peaceful.

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  1. November 25, 2010 at 2:21 am

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