Archive for May, 2009

To East Texas and Back…

May 11, 2009 2 comments

So, I think I have had one of the best-last 5 days ever!


It started on Wednesday. I left Lubbock on Wednesday morning for Dallas, bright and early. Or rather, muggy, drizzly and early. What awful weather! It rained and drizzled until I made it past Eastland. Blah. The drive was uneventful at best, but it reminded me how much I love road trips, especially solo ones. I listened to music, watched the road go by and thought about everything. It was nice to unwind, and it was nice to have some time to myself.

Once I got to Dallas, I drove to the house where I stayed all last summer. It was SO nice to see Tom and Joann and Jojo. I had missed them all so much, and I had missed the area as well. Compared to Lubbock, it’s amazing. I mostly read that day and spent some time with Jo until we all went to dinner.

The next day, I slept in, took my time getting ready, and hit up the Grapevine mall. Although it’s not as fun going alone, I enjoyed walking around and looking at everything. Surprisingly, I was able to refrain from buying anything. Back in the village, I ran around to a few different stores. I was mostly whiling away the time until it was time to leave for… (ba duh duh duh)…


RENT!! Oh. My. God. It was AMAZING. I can barely believe I saw it again, especially with Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal. Once I finally arrived at the theater, after my “trusty” TomTom got me lost once or twice, I went inside and got through where they scan the tickets. I decided to go ahead and myself some Rent goodies, and went to the merchandise counter. After I picked out a lovely T-shirt and backpack with a program that detailed the history of Rent, I walked over to somewhere I could sit and organize everything I was trying to carry in my hands.

And then I realized I had lost my ticket.

For a minute I panicked, then found someone and explained my situation.  I told the woman I knew I was supposed to sit in the balcony but didn’t know which section or seat. She was so nice, and found an available seat in the balcony for me. Luckily, that seat turned out to be about ten times better than my original seat. 🙂

The play was incredible. I had heard about Rapp and Pascal, read Anthony Rapp’s memoir, listened to the soundtrack, watched them perform on YouTube, listened to “What You Own” (their signature song) billions of times, and was so excited to actually see them. The moment Anthony walked out on the stage, the theater erupted. It took five minutes for everyone to be quiet, and another five to be quiet when Pascal came on. I was completely in shock that I was actually there. Once the play began, I sat in my seat, entranced, not thinking about anything else. They went through the first three songs, and I was slightly annoyed because the lights were still on in the theater. Then, the third song ended…

And the theater went pitch black. Then every single light on stage came on at once, in a brilliance that is hard to describe. Everyone on stage is in motion, running for their spot and the singing begins and the dancing begins. The play had officially started, and the song “Rent” (one of my favorites) blasted throughout. I was absolutely in awe. This play never ceases to amaze me, and for some reason, I absolutely adore it. I don’t think I will ever tire of it. (The really sad thing is that as I am writing this, I am watching the play on my DVD.)

One of the best parts of the play was watching Anthony Rapp. I had read his memoir, and I felt as though I had something in common with him: Rent is something indescribable to him, the same as it is to me. In his memoir, this play allowed him to express something he could not. He said he put everything into each performance, and that was so evident when I saw him. He loves this play, and it seemed he strives to make each performance special for the audiences. He never stopped moving. He danced all over the stage. He sang his heart out, and made it fun for the audience. He was, without a doubt, the heart and soul of the play. The best part was his obvious passion. It blazed off the stage and hit you in the face. It was incredible.

I had seen the play last spring in March, when Mom took me to New York for spring break. It was fun to see who had joined the tour from the cast I saw. Surprisingly, there were actually about four or five.

I am so grateful I was able to see this play, especially since Rapp and Pascal were in it. I think I’m also glad I went by myself. No one else really understands how I feel about Rent; no one else I know well enjoys it as much as I do. I think honestly if I’d taken anyone it would have ruined it for me because I know I would have just worried the entire time about what they thought.

I love Rent.


On a side note, I read an amazing book while in Dallas. It was called The Story of Forgetting by Stefan Merrill Block. I was a little dubious about reading it, because it was about Familial early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. But it turned out to be so wonderful. The author described those who had Alzheimer’s as being in a place called Isidora. It is a beautiful place; a place where no one remembers anything, but are content and can still communicate. They communicate through touch and feelings, and do not have to know words. It is perfect there. The way Block described it reminded me of the perfection and contentment of the Garden of Eden.

So that is what will get me through the remainder of this horrendous and painful disease. This is what I believe: The mind of  my beautiful, vibrant, sweet Mimi is in Isidora. And she is still these things and more. She is happy, content, loved and still alive. Her body has just remained with us. But she is OK. In fact, she is great; no longer a prisoner to a brain that can not function anymore. She is free. And when her body is released for good, she will be even freer. This is a comforting thought.

The author referenced a few books he read to get inspiration for his book. One of them was called Losing My Mind: An Intimate Look at Life with Alzheimer’s by Thomas DeBaggio, and I decided I had to read it, if only to gain some more understanding into the workings of this disease. It is a man’s memoir after he was diagnosed with the disease, and it is fascinating because as you read, you are privy to his innermost thoughts and struggles concerning this disease. You can see how his brain has deteriorate, because he repeats stories throughout the book. I love it so far, but it is difficult to read, because now I wonder how Mimi felt when she was diagnosed. I was so young when I was told she had it, and I did not really understand the consequences or pattern of the disease. I feel like I am just now beginning to understand it.


So finally, on to happier things detailing the rest of my weekend.


On Friday morning, I woke up and left Tom and Joann’s, then stopped at my favorite Barnes and Noble and got coffee. Then it was on to Winnsboro. I had so much fun! I spent time with Kasey, and got to spend a lot of time with Thomas’ family also, which was nice. Kasey’s graduation party was so much fun. For some reason, her family’s new house is extremely relaxing. Although we spent the whole afternoon outside, and my hair was a nightmare after, it was a great afternoon. I loved when everyone went down to the pond to fish, and it was fun trying to navigate through the mud. 🙂

Except for that darn june bug in my shoe, it was perfect. I miss you, Kasey!

I think this trip was exactly what Thomas and I needed. Getting out of town lifted a weight from our shoulders. I feel like things changed between us, in a good way. We laughed so much together, and had fun on the ride home, just me and him. He tortured me and kept trying to take pictures of me driving. We talked about everything. He even let me stop in Abilene to see my Grandmommy and Grandaddy and eat dinner with them. Things are amazing with Thomas. I am so lucky to have him, and he makes me so happy.


Life is pretty darn good right now.

Categories: Thoughts Tags: , , , , ,

New Place. New Me.

May 5, 2009 Leave a comment

Well, people,


Things have changed once and for all since the last time I blogged. I don’t even remember when that was.


I am officially, 100% moved out of the 48th house. Although I will miss both of my roommates (and the multitudes of space) I love, love, LOVE my little one bedroom apartment. It already feels like home, and I love knowing I can do what I want with it. My living room/dining area are much bigger than I expected, which was a pleasant surprise. The entire place is better than I thought it would be. I have a fantastic view of the pool, and my apartment is nestled in among all the others. There are also a lot more college students living here than I would have thought. Half the cars in my parking lot have commuter north stickers.

When it came to moving in, I was a little worried, but thanks to some great friends I was able to move in with no problem. I woke up bright and eary Friday morning and threw myself into packing with a vengeance. I spent the entire day at it. At 5, I was able to go pick up my keys and see the apartment for the first time! Thomas came with me, and crammed a huge load of boxes and bags into my car. (Apologies for my gigantic boxes of books, guys.) After we that stuff in to the apartment, we met Nate, Matthew and Jess back at the house. I was amazed, but we were able to get all my furniture and the rest of my stuff (minus a few odds and ends) in TWO loads. Thanks so much guys; I couldn’t have done it without you.

After everyone had left, Thomas and I went to get groceries at Wal-Mart, ran them back to the apartment, unloaded the stuff that needed to be refridgerated, and then made one last trip to the house. There, I got my hanging clothes and hangars, and Thomas loaded the rest of my food. Then I cleaned my bathroom, vacuumed my room,  and did a few dishes. Once the car was loaded, we had one last task: To get Felix into his carrier and into the car. Oh. My. God. That normally sweet-tempered cat became “Exorcist cat.” At the sight of the carrier, he dug his claws HARD into my arms. When faced with the opening into the dark unknown, he twisted. Thomas finally had to upend the carrier and shove Felix head first into the cage. However, Felix wasn’t going down without a fight. Like a cartoon, Felix locked all his paws against the sides of the opening and shoved back. But it wasn’t even over once he was in the carrier. He spun and flipped (quite a feat for him being such a huge cat in a tiny crate), and cried the entire way home. It almost made me cry, even with Thomas cursing at him for clawing his fingers. 🙂 Once we got to the apartment we ran him into the bathroom, shut the door, and let him out. He had shed a pound of fur on the ride. Poor little guy.

After that little trauma, I wasn’t sure what he would do for the next couple of days. But he’s been so happy, sunning himself in the windows and playing more than I’ve ever seen him play.


It’s been an ordeal trying to organize everything, but I’m finally almost finished. I love it!


I feel like I’m finally returning to myself. No more stress. No more fear. No more anger. No more resentment. I feel cleansed.