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Why am I so Worried?

What a satisfyingly accomplishing day today. (And yet, I’m still on the verge of a minor panic attack. Odd.)


Anyways. I interviewed for an internship today at the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal. And I got it. (!!!!!!) I’m so happy. I’m going to be working on the copy desk. It should be quite an interesting summer. I’ll work four days a week for five hours at a time. Joe, the man I”ll work under, said my schedule would probably be something along the lines of Sunday through Wednesday, 6 p.m. to 11 p.m. Odd hours, but if you think about it, copy editing is kind of the last thing on the menu anyways. So I’ll get another job and work a few mornings a week. I definitely need to be earning some money this summer. I’m so excited.

Funny story. My interview was at two this afternoon, and I got to the A-J at 1:50, just like I wanted. However, the first floor was not the newsroom. The first floor was the sales and circulation floor. So, I went to the information desk and told the woman there, “Hi, I have an appointment with so-and-so at 2, but I’m not sure where to go.” Then she says, “Take the elevator up to the second floor and you’ll be in the newsroom. Ask someone there.” I was like, great. That’s comforting. So I get in the elevator. And go up the second floor. And as it creaks up to the second floor, I’m in the elevator trying desperately not to vomit from nerves. (Why, oh why, must I be the type person who makes myself sick when I”m nervous? Why?) Then, the elevator door opens. I step out, into a giant room that is not conveniently broken up into partitioned desks, but just a huge group of desks. Every single head in that room snapped up and stared at me. I started looking around desperately for at least a secretarial desk to see if there was someone who could direct me, but there was NO ONE. No one. It was terrible. Everyone just kept staring, and there were no visible name tags on the desks, so I couldn’t even see if I could find the woman whom I was supposed to be meeting. Finally, a woman in the very back got up and started walking toward me. She took pity on me. I must have looked so pathetic, standing there, looking around wildly. It was awful.


I’m a little nervous about spending the entire summer in Lubbock, but it is a little easier knowing I’ll be out of Lubbock this time next year. That is such a relief. Also, two of my best friends (as of now) will be in Lubbock too. That’s comforting.


Next on the agenda is finding a place to live. That’s stressful, but my parents promised me I could live by myself, and I’m really looking forward to that. For various reasons.


I interviewed a girl today for the yearbook. Hands down, she was one of the coolest persons I have ever met. She was a little person, and I think I could have talked to her all night. She’s been everywhere. She’s lived in New York, Dallas, D.C. She was in Europe for four months touring with a children’s musical. It was amazing. My own life felt so insignificant compared to what she has accomplished. I feel blessed to have had the chance to meet her. It was amazing.


I’m going home tomorrow, and I am so excited. I got really homesick last weekend, and I’m not sure why. It just hits sometimes.


I wish I didn’t feel so stressed and anxious. I have a knot in my chest, and I feel like I can’t breathe. Maybe it’s the fact I have a paper due Monday, a test Monday, my yearbook story due Monday evening/Tuesday (Monday, preferably), two reporting projects, and tons of reading to get finished by Tuesday morning. Oh, and my magazine writing story finished by Wednesday, plus a query letter for that same class due also. Oh, my goodness. I feel sick. Wish me luck! I’m off and running into next week already. And it’s still Thursday. Super duper.


I love life right now. So much. 😀

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