Archive for December, 2008


December 25, 2008 Leave a comment

I love Christmas.

So much. I love feeling like a little kid in the morning; excited to open my stocking and all the presents under the tree. I love the general feeling of love that fills me so much I feel as though I”m going to burst. I love the joy in everyone’s faces as they open their gifts.

I threw myself into Christmas this year. I wrapped as though there was no tomorrow. I helped my madre clean the entire house. I didn’t help cook. I shopped for my dad. I tried to find gifts that everyone would actually like. I wanted to do well. That’s all I wanted; for everyone to enjoy what they got. I wanted my family to be happy. I love them so much. SO so smuch. They are my rock.

This has been an amazing day. I couldn’t have asked for more. Thank you for an incredible day.

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“I’m Your’s” Fave Song :-D

December 25, 2008 Leave a comment

This is without a doubt my current favorite song:

“I’m Your’s” by Jason Mraz


Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I’m trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I’ll be giving it my bestest
And nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We’re just one big family
And It’s our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

Scooch on over closer dear
And i will nibble your ear

I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I’m be saying is there ain’t no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It’s what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find that the sky is yours
Please don’t, please don’t, please don’t
There’s no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This oh this this is out fate, I’m yours!

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What a Joke.

December 23, 2008 Leave a comment

I hate being the family joke. I hate that my sister is so infectiously happy that everything she does is charming, and makes everything I do seem moody or broody. I hate getting made fun of in front of my grandparents and then getting in trouble for being mad about it.

At the same time, I have never felt so full of love for my family and Christmas time. Today was perfect. For the most part. I’m so ready for Christmas, and then New Year’s. New Year’s is my favorite holiday.

I miss Dallas so much it hurts tonight. I want to be back in Highland Village. Desperately. I miss walking around, I miss the girls at NY&C. I miss the lights and the fountains and the people and the overall upbeat atmosphere. It was so wonderful this summer. What I’d love to do right now is wrap myself in a huge coat and scarf and boots and go up to that Barnes and Noble, buy a coffee, grab my book and sit outside in the cold and read. I’d probably freeze after two minutes, but that two minutes would be bliss.

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The Christmas Season.

December 22, 2008 Leave a comment

Christmas is almost here. Cookies are being baked, presents are being wrapped. And people are going crazy. Fights in stores over silly gifts, suffocating crowds, and panicking over finishing up Christmas shopping. When did Christmas become so rushed? It’s sad sometimes. I’ve been so busy it doesn’t even feel like Christmas yet. I’ve decided to go out and look at lights tonight.

I like getting up really late on Christmas Eve, after everyone has gone to bed, and go in the den and turn on the lights on the tree. I like to sit there in the dark and enjoy the tree and listening to the stillness of the house. I like to imagine the anticipation every person is feeling or what everyone will be getting the next morning. It’s the perfect time to slow down and enjoy the holiday. I think that may be my favorite time of the day. The alone-ness. The way the tree looks with presents spilling out of it.

I think what I want this year is to learn to control what I say. I screw up a lot with that.

I want to apologize to someone. I don’t know how to fix anything, but you know how I feel and you know I’m sorry. So that’s really all I can say; I don’t know how else to say it.

The wave of family begins arriving tomorrow. Yay…. No really, I’m excited. It’s just a full house.


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One Wish.

December 20, 2008 Leave a comment

My greatest wish is that I could keep my mouth shut when I need to. I’m tired of hurting the people I love with the things I say.

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December 18, 2008 2 comments



“The More Loving One” by W. H. Auden

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.


How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.


Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.


Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.


“A Valediction: Forbidden Mourning” by John Donne

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
     And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
     The breath goes now, and some say, No:

So let us melt, and make no noise,
     No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
‘Twere profanation of our joys
     To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears,
     Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheres,
     Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers’ love
     (Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
     Those things which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined
     That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assur’d of the mind,
     Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
     Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
     Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
     As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
     To move, but doth, if th’ other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
     Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
     And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must
     Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
     And makes me end where I begun.

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Funn night

December 18, 2008 Leave a comment

We had a Christmas gift exchange last night at the house. I love my wonderful friends. 🙂


Back in Midland on Saturday.

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