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Close to My Heart

September 21, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

The most curious thing happened at church today. I recently started attending the Heights Fellowship. It’s a great non-denominational church, not too big, and not too small. But anyways, Pastor Mike was speaking, and talking about the announcements for the week. He started talking about See You at the Pole, that is apparently happening on Sept. 24th (this Wednesday). He asked all the students in the room to raise their hands. After he’d given out all the pertinent information, he asked us students (jr. high, high school and college) to stand up. Then he asked everyone around us to gather and he prayed over us, that we would be a voice of strength and truth in our respective schools. At first, as I am skeptical of displays of emotion and whatnot as this, I was a little uncomfortable with unfamiliar people being this close to me. But then, as I listened to the words Pastor Mike was praying, I began to feel differently. It was amazing to me that they consider us to be such as asset in something such as this. And when the prayer was over, I was stunned at the change I felt in myself.

All my life, I’ve been wary of church and religion. I grew up in the church, and I went to a Christian school for much of my elementary and junior high years, but I felt behind when it came to faith. I didn’t want to be a part of something so structured and so…expected. I never had the choice on whether or not I wanted to attend church, and that made me resent it. And I resented it with EVERYTHING inside of me. So much so that when I went to college, I never attended church.

But this past spring semester, I felt so lost, that I begged God to make something change. I wanted out of Lubbock, and away from everyone and everything that I knew. I didn’t know what to expect, but God answered my prayers. He answered them tenfold. He blessed me with two wonderful jobs, and an amazing family that took me in and treated me as their own all summer. I have never felt so safe, loved, protected…and most of all, special. This obvious answer to prayer made me realize that church was more than just attending church each Sunday. To me, it’s more about the feeling I get when I think of the amazing summer I just had. The rush of gratitude and the smile that passes my lips. The feeling of contentedness I have, even though my life doesn’t always goes exactly how I’d prefer. Sometimes, I get down because I can’t always do what I want to do when I want to do it. I get frustrated because I’m ready for my life to take off and get out of this town. But I’ve been trying to keep in mind the fact that even though I’m so ready to be out of here, I still have things I need to get done. God will help me get out of here again. And I’m going to keep that close to my heart for the next year and a half.

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