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Mama’s Girl and the Ex Effect

Well….interesting day today….

I woke up very homesick. Odd for a girl who spent her entire summer away from home, no? I thought so. But I ended up driving home today to see my mom. I called her this morning, and she told me to come home, but five minutes later she called to tell me to stay…however, I made sure she knew how badly I wanted to go home, and kept driving. Needless to say, she was not thrilled with me when I arrived at the house. Not exactly the welcome one expects upon arriving home. But Mom and I managed to have a somewhat pleasant day…for most of the time. But for some reason, I managed to pick little fights with my mom the whole time. I don’t know why! Something about the way she talks to me just triggers this tense nerve in me. It’s terrible. But I’m working on it, I swear. I love my mom so much. I just don’t know how to show it.

I spoke to the dreaded ex today. We hadn’t talked for about 3 months, and then on July 5th, the night of my first date with this awesome guy, and my phone rings. At 3 in the morning. After I had just fallen to sleep. Obviously, I was just a little disoriented, in a “What the HELL??” type way when I saw who was calling me. And he calls to say: “I MISS you.” I MISS YOU!!! After everything he put me through (long story short, he went the AFA, I stayed in TX, he didn’t have time for a girlfriend, broke my heart) he has the nerve to say that to me. But whatever. Amazingly, I stayed cool. I stayed calm. I was collected. I told him he couldn’t go and say things out of the blue like that. I told him not to call me, that I would call him if I ever wanted to talk. And he said…”I’m always here for you.” Right. Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.

And I did. And a month later, I called him. He answered, and we talked for 6 hours. So now we talk. Not every night, not even every other day. Just occasionally. But he’s different…and we connect differently. In fact, we talked today. And he told me he missed me. So what am I supposed to do? I want to believe him…but I believed him once…and it got me a broken heart and a whole lot of love left over. Besides, I want to go to New York.

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